


I've Been Saving All My Summers For You

by vagrantBreath



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Asexual Character, Infertility, M/M, unusual heat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-28
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-18 06:21:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 6,392
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8152135
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vagrantBreath/pseuds/vagrantBreath
Summary: Lance's heats are very irregular. And he doesn't react to them the way the other omegas do.Which kind of sucks when you're having your first heat in years where you can't go lock yourself away and deal with it on your own.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I just wanted to write trash where did all these feels about asexual!infertile!Lance come from sob

It started as faint cramps. Easy to pass off as indigestion, especially considering the food goo had been particularly suspect that night.

Not like he hadn’t had indigestion before, Lance told himself as he rolled over, trying to get comfortable. It just sucked when he did. Ugh, it was just enough that he couldn’t get to sleep. With a slight whine, he pulled his knees to his chest, pouting at the empty room. He needed his beauty rest and this was interrupting it!

The cramps rolled through him, teasing at more pain. Reminding him of something, but what? Lance rubbed his forehead, trying to remember. When was the last time he felt like this? Probably the last time he ate something weird, but even the first time he ate food goo he had just been in the bathroom all night as it ran through him. Was it at the Garrison? Or before?

He couldn’t remember. All he knew was he couldn’t get to sleep.

Maybe a walk was in order. It might settle his stomach a bit.

Lance pulled himself out of bed, wincing as the cramps flared slightly. Okay, maybe not food. He rubbed his lower abdomen as he walked, trying to soothe the cramps. Hah. He felt like his youngest sister when she was in-

His eyes went wide and he stopped dead in his tracks.

No. Nonononono.

When was his last one? He had been on suppressants, but that had run out a month in. They had always been so irregular anyway... and he was an omega on a ship with an alpha he could barely tolerate and an alpha he knew was out of his league...

Not to mention he knew how they would react.

And how he would react.

Shit.

He needed to ask Coran if he could recreate heat suppressants along with the rut ones he was working on. He could _not_ deal with a heat out here. Not the place or time for this. He would do just that right now except... yeah, no one would be up.

Lance swallowed, one hand reflexively rubbing his aching stomach as he headed back to his room. If he remembered his last heat, tomorrow would be even worse. And that’s when people would start to notice. He’d smell like it.

Great. And Shiro wouldn’t let him get out of training no matter what.

Maybe if Shiro was too horny to see straight he could slip away and barricade himself in his room until his heat passed?

Nah. Shiro was too disciplined for that. They knew when he was in rut, but he was still a harsh taskmaster even though everyone could see he wanted to fuck everything into the ground. Keith was the one that had to lock himself away.

So that meant he would have to go face the music tomorrow.

... maybe if he said he was sick?

* * *

Hunk stared at him curiously as Lance pulled on his armor in misery. Of course Shiro didn’t take that as an excuse. And now he was starting to feel weird, just like his last heat. This weird itch was making its way down his back, and he couldn’t scratch at it.

”Something wrong, man?”

”Nah,” Lance told Hunk, flexing his hand as he fiddled with his gauntlets. “What’s up?”

”You just smell kinda off, is all. You sure?”

Fuuuuuu- “Yeah. I’m fine.”

Just get through this without any of the alphas smelling him. That would just be great. Hunk and Pidge would be fine; they were betas. They wouldn’t know what to do with it. Shiro and Keith... Lance shuddered. He didn’t want to think of that.

Just get through training.

His heat would be over before he knew it.

Shiro didn’t even have time to open his mouth to explain what they were doing today before pain was shooting through Lance, the worst cramp he had felt since...

Since his last heat, if he was to be completely honest.

It was enough to send him to his knees with a soft cry of pain, wrapping his arms around his stomach. Fuck. He knew what this would be in a normal heat. If he was a normal omega. But he wasn’t normal. It meant nothing. He couldn’t-

”Lance!”

He could feel Shiro bending down next to him and- No, he couldn’t let Shiro touch him. He couldn’t let an alpha close-

Lance backed away as fast as he could, watching Shiro’s eyes dilate suddenly. Shit. He knew. Lance whimpered, seeing the hungry look cross Shiro’s face briefly before being locked away with a force of will.

Shiro wanted to fuck him.

_No._

Lance tried to scramble to his feet, feeling his stomach cramp at each motion. No, not his stomach. He knew it was that... thing. That useless organ. The thing that just _would not work._

He needed to get out of there.

”Lance.” Oh God, Shiro’s voice was low and husky. He didn’t want _this_ from Shiro-!

Lance fled.


	2. Chapter 2

Well _that_ could have gone a lot better.

Lance slid to the ground just inside his room, back against his wall as he winced in pain. The goddamn... _uterus_ he was born with as an omega was really acting up now. Why did he even have that thing if none of that plumbing wanted to work? Why hadn’t he just been born a beta instead? Why did he even have _heats_ if... well, it didn’t work? Could this even really be called a heat?

Well, all the symptoms that the plumbing didn’t have a baby in it were kicking in, demanding that one be put in. Except... he knew they didn’t work. After he didn’t get his second heat after three months of getting his first, he had been taken to the doctor out of worry and yeah. It was confirmed. Body didn’t have the... yeah. Eggs. So because they weren’t there, his body wasn’t cycling until there was a build up inside him that forced it.

Except he just got his body complaining it didn’t have a baby. He didn’t get horny. He didn’t get wet. None of that. He just got really achy and needy. It sucked.

He was just a broken omega. Couldn’t even fuck for the diversion.

Lance ran his hand over his face. Shit. He had seen the way Shiro had responded to his scent. Someone (he forgot who) had told him once that it didn’t really smell like an omega in heat, but it triggered a lot of the same instincts. He shuddered, curling up slightly. It triggered the instinct to fuck, to breed. Which Lance couldn’t do. He couldn’t spread his legs and take Shiro’s knot.

... he kinda didn’t want to.

And that right there is where he really thought he was broken. He had this really giant crush on Shiro, right? Like, up there with Allura crush giant. About as obtainable too. Shouldn’t he want to fuck Shiro, even if he couldn’t? He had heard of other omegas like him. They just bought this lube stuff and went to town with their partners. He was just... broken.

Lance sighed. This was going nowhere. And he was just getting more and more achy by the minute. A hot bath was in order.

He wasn’t sure what else he needed, though.

* * *

Right, he needed to avoid Keith. Lance took several steps away as Keith stood there in the middle of the hallway, his hands shaking, eyes closed and nostrils flared. He was full on heat, and Keith could smell that. There was a pretty high chance Keith didn’t want to act on it, but Lance knew he didn’t exactly have a lot of control in... just about anything. So how did Lance forget that?

He took another step back, taking a deep breath as Keith opened his eyes, zeroing in on Lance. “You’re in heat,” Keith finally said, his voice rumbling deep in his chest like- shit. “I didn’t know you were an omega. Should have known; you act like one.”

No no no no.

”Y-yeah, it’s all natural, right?” Lance laughed a bit, taking another step back. “Omegas just- s-stop looking at me like that, Keith.”

”You’re in _heat_ ,” he repeated, emphasizing. “I can’t- think. I take a breath and I just smell- Every part of me just-”

Nononono-

”Yeah. I’m in heat,” Lance said, his voice trying to waver. “Not interested in you.”

A growl was coming from Keith and no. No. No-

And a mechanical hand came down, clasping Keith’s shoulder. “Go hit the training room,” Shiro rumbled, his voice tightly controlled.

”Shiro-”

” _Now,_ Keith.”

”Lance is-”

”Don’t make me have to say it again.”

Keith opened his mouth, then shut it, shaking his head as if to try to clear it, his eyes popping wide. “Leaving.”

Shiro kept his eyes on Lance as Keith left, studying him. And shit, Lance could see Shiro’s eyes dilating now, his breathing deepening. He needed to _go_. “So, uh, Shiro, I-”

”Are you okay?”

”Mmhmm, just peachy. I should-”

”You left so fast at training,” Shiro broke in, his voice rumbling. Shit. “I was worried. Is your heat bothering you that much?”

Lance wrapped his arms around himself as another cramp rushed through him. “Yeah, kinda.”

”There are certain... aids-” Wow, he didn’t know Shiro could turn that shade of pink. “-that can help an omega-”

”I don’t want them,” Lance interrupted. “I’m fine.”

That made Shiro frown. “Lance, that’s not healthy. Heat sickness is not something to take lightly.”

”I’m _fine,_ ” he stressed. “Just... I’ll be over it in a few days.”

Shiro continued to frown at him. Finally he relented. “If you find yourself getting ill, make sure to come to one of us,” he told Lance. “Whoever you feel most comfortable with. We shouldn’t actually help out ourselves, but we can give you the tools to ease your pain.”

Yeah, but he couldn’t ease the fact Lance was broken. “Sure, thanks.”

Shiro nodded, moving to take a step forward before stopping himself, swallowing. “I hope you feel better,” was all he said instead.

”Yeah,” Lance muttered, jamming his hands into his coat pockets. “I do too.”

As Shiro left, it suddenly hit him that Shiro had offered to go find him _sex toys._ In other time and place, that would be hilarious.

Instead, he just felt a gnawing emptiness inside of him start to grow, needing something he barely knew he needed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My "wow, this is a little more dysphoric than I originally planned it to be" tequila and Coke was a little stronger than usual, so hopefully this is understandable.

It hurt more and more every hour. This was more than cramps, Lance realized as he laid in the tub, water just barely at his heat tolerance. Everything inside of him _hurt._ He could almost get the feeling of what it was like for a regular omega, needy for alpha cock. But that wasn’t _him._ He didn’t lay there and dream of what it would be like for Shiro or, fuck, even Keith to split him open.

Just for this all to stop. End. Cease.

But he needed something and he didn’t know what. Lance groaned, rubbing his stomach. Maybe food but he didn’t want to face food goo right now. It didn’t move right. He would kill something for some chorizo. That would be good. Or some carne guisada oooh...

Damn it, now he missed home. Lance ran a sopping hand through his hair, blowing out a harsh breath. He had been so good at not missing home lately. But of course he had to remember his mom’s cooking and boom, homesickness.

He looked up at the ceiling, wincing as another cramp twisted up his innards.

He did have to eat at some point today.

With a sigh, Lance pulled himself out of the tub, pulling the drain. He dressed, slowly making his way down to the dining hall. Everything hurt so much. This heat could be over at any time now. None of the ones he had before he went on suppressants had been this bad. Then again... Lance shook his head, his lips quirked without humor. He hadn’t really had that many. Stupid irregular heats.

As he pumped out food goo, he felt slightly queasy. It just sounded so... wrong. Lance put the plate down, rubbing his hand over his face. What was wrong with him? Why was he so...

So broken. So wrong.

He sighed, taking the half full plate and grabbing a spoon to shovel it into his mouth. Better than nothing. It tasted a little weird today, but it didn’t taste like it was about to hurt him, which was good. Before he knew it, the plate was cleared and his stomach felt a little bit better. “See,” he murmured at his body. “I told you. You needed food.”

In revenge, his stomach cramped.

Ow.

* * *

Maybe he should ask for the sex toys because this was ridiculous. Anything to make this pain stop, this growing need of something he wasn’t quite sure what it was stop...

Lance shifted his weight on his feet, then turned to walk towards Shiro’s room.

Yeah.

He was going to go throw away his pride and ask Fearless Leader for _sex toys._ Did the Castle even have any? Was he going to be dipping into Allura’s stock? That was kind of... ew.

”Hey, Lance, man, you okay?” Hunk stopped him, snapping him out of his thoughts with a hand against his shoulder. “You looked like you were about to fall over there.”

That touch felt _so good._ Lance found himself leaning into it, humming under his breath. “Mm... no I’m fine. I was just about to go talk to Shiro.”

”Lance...” Hunk was serious, worry deepening his voice. “You’re really in heat. Like, badly. Even I can smell it. I don’t know if Shiro’s going to be able to control himself around you if you go talk to him. That’s not a good thing. I know you’re in heat and all, but Shiro and you doing that right now is not a good thing.”

Right.

”Damn it,” Lance muttered, letting himself fall into Hunk’s body, head resting against his shoulder. “Heats suck.”

Wow, this felt good.

It felt even better when Hunk started rubbing his back. Something started to unwind, just slightly. The next cramps that came made him hiss and clutch onto Hunk, but they just weren’t... as bad. He could deal with them.

”This is nice,” Lance told him, his voice drowsy as the cramps faded, leaving his mind muddled. “This is... really nice.”

”Uh... Lance...”

”Mm?”

”You okay there?”

”Cramps,” he muttered. “This feels good.”

Hesitantly, Hunk rubbed his lower back and _yes_. Muscles he didn’t even know were tense reacted to the touch, making him moan slightly. It felt so _good._

It could feel better, a part of his brain told him. There was one piece missing.

But right now, this was so perfect and felt so good and Hunk didn’t need to ever stop.

”You going to be okay?” Hunk asked quietly, still rubbing his lower back.

”Mmhmm.” Another cramp passed through him but it wasn’t as bad. As long as he was here, he was fine. The moment would have to end eventually but not now. And he would enjoy every last tick of it, damn it.

But too soon, Hunk rested his hand higher up on Lance’s back. “Pidge is waiting for me,” he told him quietly. “There are some power sources that we think are failing and need to be rerouted. You gonna be okay?”

”Yeah.” He was. At least, for the moment. “Thanks, man. At least for keeping me from making a stupid decision.”

Hunk ruffled his hair, pulling back with a smile. “No problem. Just watching out for you. I know you’d want to be romantic.”

Lance felt his smile turned pained. Romantic. Yeah. He watched as Hunk left, not wanting to correct him. Better Hunk thought him whole. Not broken. Not... infertile.

Besides, Hunk did do him a favor by not letting him near Shiro during his heat. If Shiro couldn’t control himself around Lance... he shuddered as he went back to his room.

Omegas flirted. They had sex. They had _heats_ where they could get pregnant. They weren’t infertile like he was. They weren’t... broken.

Lance rubbed his stomach, looking down at it.

”I hate you,” he whispered.


	4. Chapter 4

That weird craving was back. It kept getting worse. It was... Lance had no idea how to explain it. He just needed something. Something Hunk had almost given him.

It made it so he couldn't stay any more in his room. He had to get out. Every part of him screamed to leave, seek it out. He couldn't stay. And yet...

If he left, there were two alphas and he was hitting the peak of his heat. There would be no way Keith would be able to control himself now if he left his room, and he had this feeling Shiro would be hard pressed to do so as well. If he could.

But he couldn't stay _here_.

A whine filled the air, a high pitched omega needy sound. Lance blinked when he realized it was coming from him, and cleared his throat. Nope. Enough of that thank you very much.

It didn't change the fact he needed. He _needed_ , ached, craved.

That was it. Screw it. He was putting on his armor and shooting things in the training room. That made Keith feel better, hitting things until they exploded. Maybe shooting droids would make him feel better.

No one on the way to the training room. Good.

And Keith was in the training room. Not good. Lance swallowed, taking a small step backwards. He had to get out before Keith-

Turned to him, eyes wide, nostrils flared.

”Uh...”

And then it hit Lance. Something he had always noticed but now- now- That smell. That... there was a noise, a light chirping noise coming from his throat as Keith came closer. He could smell _alpha._ It soothe him, his body, made all that fade. He wanted to bury his nose in that smell and let it carry him away, let it surround him, keep him-

Icy shock crashed over him as Keith took his wrists, pulling him close. No. He was- Keith was going to- stupid, he let himself get caught by Keith when he knew he was at the peak of his heat and Keith’s self control was spotty at best at normal times...

Then Keith shoved him away.

”No,” he whispered. “I am an alpha, not an animal. I can control myself.”

The feeling of Keith rejecting him drove through his body, worse than any sort of cramp. Lance cried out, doubling over as he heard Keith back away. He knew what he needed now. He just- no, why, why did-

A sob started to escape his throat as he slid to his knees, arms wrapped around his middle as waves of pain crashed through him. He didn’t hear Keith anymore, didn’t- he must have left, rejected him, rejected an omega... Lance moaned, curling up so his forehead touched the floor.

It hurt...

Everything hurt...

He could barely _breathe_. It hurt so much. He didn’t understand why- he had been feeling so good when he smelled- why did it-

It hurt...

* * *

When he finally came back to himself, he felt hands stroking his back. For a moment, he was confused - didn’t he put armor on? - before he realized he was being held, and his armor had been taken off and heaped in the corner of the training room. Lance looked up into Hunk’s face, blinking blearly. “Hey,” he managed.

”Hey.” Hunk hugged him briefly before going right back to stroking his back. “You doing okay?”

”Mm. Could be better.” Lance rested against Hunk, his eyes half closing. He could... almost still smell _alpha_ in the room. “What happened?”

Hunk’s hands paused for a moment, and he could feel Hunk trying not to tense. “Keith didn’t know,” he finally said. “He didn’t know what happens when you reject an omega in heat.”

”What happened, Hunk?”

Hunk went quiet. “Shiro thinks you have heat sickness now,” he finally said quietly. “You were curled up tightly and putting off a lot of pheromones, to the point he couldn’t even come in. When I came in, you were really hot to the touch. You’re still pretty warm. I’m supposed to help you back to your room where you can work that off.”

Lance looked up at him. “Supposed to?”

”Yeah... except I took your leg armor off to try to lower your body temperature. I kinda saw your crotch. You’re not even damp.”

The words hit Lance hard. He curled up a little more, inhaling deeply. “Damn it.”

”Lance... what’s going on? Do you have heat sickness? Do you... need that or do you-”

”Please don’t ask,” Lance interrupted. “Just- stop there.”

”We need to know. We can help-”

”You can’t.” Lance’s voice was flat. “It’s not- something you can just _fix._ ”

”I didn’t say fix,” Hunk said softly.

Lance went quiet, still curled into Hunk. “Just... don’t. I don’t want to talk about it.”

Hunk went quiet for a few moments, one hand coming up to brush through Lance’s hair. “What do you need?” he asked instead.

_An alpha._

”I don’t know,” Lance mumbled, turning his face into Hunk’s chest. “I don’t know.”

Hunk just held him, stroking his back as Lance tried to forget how good it felt around Keith. Around an alpha.

Around what he needed, and couldn’t have.


	5. Chapter 5

Dildos of all shapes and sizes (and that was literal. Holy shit) laid on his bed. Lance gaped at them, rubbing the back of his head. Those better not be Allura’s, because he was pretty certain some of those couldn’t fit into something human shaped.

He was expected to use them, to trick his body into thinking it had just gotten a load of spunk dropped into it. He knew that; his mom explained to him when he had gotten his first heat that his body would calm down when it thought it had been laid and had semen in it that could get it pregnant. Artificial lays would do the trick nicely. It was just... he couldn’t. The idea of putting that inside him just...

Except Lance knew he had never felt this bad in any of his previous heats, few as they were. He had been close enough to Keith to scent _alpha_ and now his body craved it. Even though it couldn’t get pregnant, it craved alpha.

So. That left him with the truly alarming spread of dildos.

He sighed and turned for the bathroom, peeling off his flight suit and snagging a modest looking dildo as an afterthought. If he was going to do this, he needed to be wet. Since his body didn’t produce slick usually, he could try to use the water instead. It wasn’t ideal, but it would be better than shoving it up there dry.

Belatedly, he remembered to turn the heat of the water down as the tub filled. If he really in heat sickness and his skin was that hot to the touch, he needed to have the water be a little cooler, try to bring the temperature of his body down. But even lukewarm water felt so cold...

Lance set his jaw. Nope. Doing this. Slowly, he lowered himself into the water, swallowing as the cool water surrounded him. He shifted until he felt a little more comfortable, closing his eyes.

For a while, he just laid there. He had always felt good around water, and this was nice. This was really nice. Then his hand twitched slightly, and he was reminded of the rubbery fake penis in it. With a sigh, Lance opened his eyes and looked at the thing. Nothing like a real penis - too smooth. But it would make his body think it was being penetrated by the real thing so it would work.

Slowly, Lance spread his legs, lowering his hands.

And they wouldn’t go any lower than his navel.

He just... couldn’t.

Lance grit his teeth, feeling the urge to cry horribly rise in him. Just... fuck himself on the dildo. Do it.

But he couldn’t.

It wasn’t what he wanted.

Finally, Lance lifted his hands, placing the dildo on the edge of the tub.

Yeah.

He was crying.

* * *

Alpha.

Alpha.

_Alpha._

Was this heat sickness? Because that was all he could think about. The smell of alpha. He just- if Shiro would just come in right now, he would let him do whatever he wanted right now, just as long as he had an alpha.

Lance whined, curling in on himself on his bed. The sex toys were scattered on the ground, unused. He just couldn’t use them on himself. He just- he couldn’t fuck himself. He couldn’t _fuck._ Broken, broken omega...

He could hear someone outside his door and he lifted his head in hope. Shiro?

No. That was Pidge, muttering to herself as she walked by. Beta, smart, useful beta. Better than him. Lance lowered his head again, whimpering. He needed...

He wasn’t going to get Shiro. Shiro wasn’t going to walk in there and comfort him because he was a good leader. He knew doing so when he was that far into his heat would mean he would probably fuck him and that would be bad for everyone.

Lance would lie back and think of England right now if it meant Shiro would be there.

He took a deep, shuddering breath. Fuck. He really would just let Shiro fuck him. The thought made him so queasy, but damn it, it meant he would get _alpha._

Slowly, he stood up, picking his way through this dildo minefield. It didn’t matter. He needed an alpha, now. The door slid open, and Lance made his way down the hall towards Shiro’s room, wrapping his arms around himself.

No one answered when he knocked.

Which meant Shiro either wasn’t there or he wasn’t answering because he could smell Lance.

A whine escaped Lance’s throat, low and insistent. He couldn’t do this. He needed to be wrapped up in Shiro, smelling alpha. Falling deep in that scent... He needed Shiro...

Except Shiro wasn’t there for him. Shiro wasn’t opening the door, wrapping him into a huge hug.

”Damn it,” Lance whispered, wrapping his arms around his middle as another blindingly painful cramp raced through him. “Damn-”

In a good universe, in a just universe, Shiro would be coming out of nowhere, wrapping him up with hugs and love and filling all of his senses with alpha.

Lance laughed.

He didn’t live in that universe. He lived in one where he got heat sickness, where he had to fight Galra, where he-

”Lance?”

His head shot up at the sound of Shiro’s voice. Where- there. Looking at him shocked, coming back to his room, staying-

Lance was throwing himself into Shiro’s arms before he could think. He wrapped himself around Shiro, pressing his nose into his skin and inhaling and _alpha_ yes everything felt so good...

Shiro made a strangled sound above him, hands very carefully not touching him. “Lance...”

”Alpha,” he said dreamily, nosing Shiro’s throat. He felt so... good. It was perfect. His body felt like it was floating.

”Lance, you need to go back to your room. Now.”

A distressed sound escaped Lance’s throat as he clung harder. He had just gotten an alpha. He couldn’t-

”Lance.” Shiro’s voice was strained. “If you stay here, I’m going to lose control.”

He was going to fuck him.

The thought finally made him let go. Shiro took several steps backwards, visibly shaking. Lance lowered his head, his teeth gritting. Why couldn’t he be a good omega and just take it? Why did the thought of Shiro having sex with him make him let go, make him feel sick...?

”Lance.” The soft, gentle way Shiro said his name made him look up, blinking away tears. “It’ll be okay.”

”I don’t want you to fuck me.” Lance blinked as the words fell out of his mouth, blinked as Shiro was taken by surprise. “I- I don’t-”

”...” Shiro shook his head. “We’ll talk about this later,” he promised. “Go take a bath. Clean up.”

”I’m not-” Lance looked away. He didn’t want to say it.

But Shiro seemed to understand. At least the physical side effects. “Oh. Um. I see.”

Lance wanted to be ejected into space. This was so embarrassing. “Yeah.”

There was silence for a moment, then Shiro sighed. “Go clean up,” he told him. “It’ll help take care of the excess pheromones. I’ll meet you in the dining hall.”

Lance looked up, hopeful. “You’ll...”

”We need to talk.”

And that made his heart sink.

”Oh.”


	6. Chapter 6

This time, a shower was in order. He had a feeling Shiro wanted to talk to him pretty quickly. Lance ducked his head under the spray, taking comfort in how it ran down his face. Kinda almost felt like rain, in a way. Not quite. But if he put his mind to it, he could almost imagine it to be.

Kinda.

Not quite.

Lance shook his head, reaching for the soap and starting to suds up. Clean up first. He needed to talk to Shiro after.

Fuck. He just... he didn’t want to do it. The way Shiro would look at him after he knew he couldn’t get pregnant- he knew he didn’t have a chance with Shiro. That was just common sense. But how Shiro would look at him knowing he was a broken omega, that would just _hurt._ Lance licked his lips, letting the water drip off his nose as he bowed his head under the stream of water. Damn it.

He couldn’t hide forever, though. Eventually, Shiro would hunt him down and get it out of him. But boy, did he want to try.

Instead, he turned off the shower, reaching for the towel, drying off. He pulled on his clothes, and took a deep breath.

And headed towards the dining hall.

Time to face the music.

Shiro was waiting for him when he got there, of course. His back went stiff when Lance walked in, and he noticed Shiro start to forcibly take even, shallow breaths. Damn it. “Hello, Lance.”

He mumbled a hello in return, taking a seat across from him. Lance’s hands fell into his lap, loosely balled into fists as he waited for whatever Shiro would say to make it obvious he knew that Lance was broken.

It was a few moments before Shiro could talk. “Lance, are you okay?” he finally said, and Lance could hear a slight huskiness to his voice, one Shiro couldn’t mask.

Lance shrugged. “Yeah. In heat, y’know, but fine.”

”That’s what I wanted to talk about. It’s late, so no one should come by here,” Shiro added, as if it would make Lance feel better that they wouldn't be interrupted by talking in fucking public. “You’ve been remarkably calm for an omega in heat. And just then, you mentioned not being... physically a mess. And then you said you don’t want me to have sex with you.”

He knew why Shiro didn’t want to do this in a more private location, but talking about this here made Lance’s mouth stay shut more. He nodded, looking down at his hands.

”Lance... are you asexual?”

Wait, what? Lance looked up at him, confused. That was not what he expected to hear. He expected to hear a completely true accusation of him being infertile, not... “I-”

Shiro looked like he wanted to take a deep breath, but thought differently of it. “It’s not commonly seen in omegas,” he said gently. “Asexuality is more seen in betas, but it does exist. You mentioned not wanting intercourse, right?”

”I- yeah.” Oh fuck. He never thought that. He just always thought he was _broken_ -

A little smile crossed Shiro’s face. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “It’s just rare, that’s all. When your next heat comes, we won’t try to help it out with sex, okay? What’s helped you this time?”

”The- being around an alpha like you or Keith- I-”

”Hm.” Shiro frowned. “That might be difficult. But we can see what we can do for your next heat.” He paused, his brow furrowing in confusion. “Lance, is everything okay?”

Lance looked back down at his now tightly clenched hands. “I’m infertile,” he mumbled. Then, before Shiro could ask him to speak up, louder, “I’m infertile. I don’t get heats often. I-”

”Hey.” Lance closed his mouth, biting down on the next word as Shiro spoke up. “I know that’s a big thing to admit. I know it’s hard. But it doesn’t mean you’re anything less because you can’t give birth. Omegas are quick witted, right? You’ve done a lot with that quick wit on the battlefield. You’re more than your child bearing status.” Shiro paused for a moment. “Do you want anyone else here to know?”

Lance shook his head violently.

”Okay.” There was a moment of silence, and Lance chanced a look up. Shiro was thinking, looking down at the human hand on the table. “How often do you get heats?” he finally asked.

”They’re... irregular,” Lance said hesitantly. “Like, I was really happy when I went on suppressants because it didn’t become a waiting game of ‘am I actually getting my heat this month or is it yet another month where I’m heat free?’”

”Maybe we can chart them.” Shiro’s fingers drummed on the table as he spoke. “After a few, it would give us a good idea how often you actually do get them. Do you want Coran to research heat suppressants as well?”

It would mean Coran would have to know as well. He really wanted those suppressants. But... “Let me think about it,” he mumbled.

Shiro nodded. “Take your time.”

Lance took a deep breath, smelling alpha on edge of it. It made everything relax, urged him to lean across the table and bury his nose into Shiro’s neck. He clenched his hands, fighting the urge. Shiro would lose control if he did that, and now that he knew he was asexual and that he didn’t want sex-

He heard Shiro get up. Welp, that meant this was ov- what. Shiro was pulling him into a hug. Into a- oh, that was _alpha._ Lance wrapped his arms around Shiro, a happy noise escaping his throat as the smell filled his senses. It felt so good...

”I’m only going to be able to do this for a little bit,” he heard Shiro say, his voice strained. “But let’s start here.”

Start here. That was nice.

This felt nice.

He could do this while it lasted.


	7. Chapter 7

It started as faint cramps. But he had no time for them. Not when he needed to get to Blue yesterday and join the fight. Damn it. It had been three months without a heat, and of course it had to rear its ugly head during one of their many fights with the Galra. Lance grit his teeth, jamming his helmet on. He could deal with cramps right now. He’d be fine.

He should have asked Coran to synthesize heat suppressants. Rut suppressants had actually been made, and Shiro and Keith were actually managing control through their cycles. It was just Lance that was the cycle minefield. But he had gone so long without his body finally heaving the buildup of hormones around that he... kinda forgot in a way.

And now he was going into heat while having to fight the Galra.

This sucked.

At least he wasn’t wanting to be fucked. That would be downright embarrassing while flying.

Asexual. That had been the last thing he would have thought of. Just... it still sounded weird. An asexual omega. Omegas weren’t asexual. But here he was, kinda not liking the idea of sex at all.

Lance shook his head, clearing his thoughts. He needed to fly. Worrying about his heat came second to that.

He’d be fine.

* * *

”I need to let you go.” Shiro’s voice floated on top of Lance’s hearing, trying to break in. It sounded... rough. Growly. “Will you be okay?”

”Hm?” Lance looked up at him, blinking. All his senses were filled with _alpha_ that it felt so good. It soothed every part of him...

”If I keep touching you, I’m going to lose control. I need to let you go now. Are you going to be okay?”

Oh. That. Lance nodded, letting him go. It hurt to do so, his stomach starting to act up immediately, but he ruthlessly ignored it. “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks.”

Shiro scooted back a bit on the sofa, running his human hand through his hair. “Go take a bath,” he said kindly. “You said you get cramps once you let go. That should ease them.”

And wash away the pheromones so he could come back and do more cuddling. Lance nodded again, standing slowly. “Yeah. I can do that.”

Shiro caught his wrist as he stood. “Hey.” His thumb gently stroked Lance’s skin as he opened his mouth, then shook his head. “I’m glad I can help you out,” he finally said, cheeks pinking slightly.

Lance looked down at Shiro’s hand on his wrist, a small smile crossing his face. “Yeah.” As Shiro let him go, Lance took a deep breath, inhaling the wonderful smell of _alpha_. “Hey. So, um... outside of my heats? Can we still do this?”

Shiro blinked, his cheeks darkening. “Is it because...?”

Lance nodded, feeling his ears start to burn. Shiro had picked up on why Lance wanted to do it too. “Yeah.”

Shiro closed his eyes, letting go of his wrist. “It’s a bad idea. You’re... a teammate. If it goes wrong, we still have to work together.” He looked up at Lance, and wow, it was obvious that he was about to throw everything away to jump him. Time to take that bath.

”But despite all of that, I would like to continue this outside of your heats.”

Lance paused as he backed away, blinking. “You mean it?”

”I- please go take a bath, Lance. We’ll talk about it later.”

”Gone.” Lance scrambled away, grinning. Shiro wanted to continue cuddling outside of his heats.

Maybe he had a chance with Shiro after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading this. Heart you all so much!


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